This is not me.

It is at great personal risk that I come to you -- and you, my friend, have put yourself in danger just by being here. Well, almost. There is still time to leave. Innocent wayfarers will bear no fault and no consequence, provided they do not return and leave no evidence of their ever having been here. But if it is transgression and trespass you seek, then I welcome you behind the veil. But a warning: once you're in, you share my secrets... and all that comes with them. Do you see a room, pillow strewn and tapestry covered? Does it lie under the heavy, still fog of hookah smoke? Does it smell vaguely of pleasure? You may be partially correct.

My name is Ava, and if the sultan or the other members of our little seraglio knew I was writing this, the consequences would be dire -- for you and me. I myself do not even know what he would do, which makes it all the more terrifying, but it would be painful and it would be unexpected. Are you still with me? Just now, he's off having the rest of them depilated (he's a tyrant about this). Thanks to my natural hairlessness in the appropriate areas, I find myself alone. In his study. On his computer. Oh, no... here I certainly should not be. Dire, dire consequences... But temptation wins out, as it always does. I want to tell you about this sweet, astonishing life only because I shouldn't -- I musn't.

The most important thing to know about me for the time being is that I am a concubine by choice. In this way, I am unique. And although I am not the first, the most powerful, or the youngest of our sisterhood, I am undeniably the favorite. Unlike the others, whose appointments and roles in our little harem were decided by others, I came of my own free will, with full knowledge of what I was coming to. For me, there were no dental exams (see above), no requirements of training or skill in the arts of music or domesticity -- or love. You see, my pasha is everything he should be in every way. (You will learn more about him later, once I have worked up the courage to write of him. My hands are shaking at the thought of it.) In short, he is worth sharing. And I needn't tell any ladies who may be reading this that the benefits of sharing a man can be quite... liberating (especially if one is very courageous and foolhardy and has other pots to stir, particularly in the daytime). But for all he is, he is also egotistically confident. This makes him unaware, and there are many secrets. He is not in on most of them, but I am, and so is our eunuch.

And now, so are you.