Monday, May 4, 2009

Koosha



I had to cut my last post terribly short. It seems Koosha, our "eunuch," scheduled their appointments for today, not Saturday. You can only imagine how this upset the suleiman. He had big plans for Sunday night.

I guess this is as good a time as any to introduce you to Koosha. I don't quite know what to make of him; perhaps you can help. He seems to have the confidence of all of us (for example, he is responsible for absconding with the key to the study, with which I was able to access the computer to begin my little story). He never asked me why I wanted it -- he is good that way. He never asks questions, he never betrays the confidence of anyone. But I wonder how "accidental" his scheduling foible was. Does he want me to get caught? He seems to like my company, but this place is more treacherous than the Elizabethan court -- seeming and being are almost never related. I must take care with him. I had considered telling him about this -- I think I will wait.

Of course, Koosha is not a real eunuch, although my pasha tries to make our experience as authentic as possible. No, he is the next-best thing in non-threatening males: in short, he's gay. Like all good eunuchs, he seems to have no ambitions to establish his own dynasty, nor is he competitive with any of the other males in the household (of which there are many -- I call them our janissaries. Pasha loves this. He would have been a good Ottoman emperor).

Koosha is an invaluable resource. In fact, he decorated our seraglio suites -- I'll post paintings some other time (risky, indeed, but you have to see this to believe it). Pasha only allows paintings of his possessions (yes, that includes us) -- he is the patron of no fewer than five artists.

Koosha is also helpful in choosing and purchasing our wardrobes. They are extensive. He is an expert on all sorts of looks -- Pasha's tastes are varied. From elegant to pornographic, he is a visual man.

As far as my relationship with Koosha, he seems the most like me in many ways. We both enjoy tremendous freedom (with the exception of computer access). We are both voluntary servants, and we both love our pasha. Hmm... On the other hand, my status as the favorite makes me a desirable choice of confidant, don't you think?

So what do you think? Can he be trusted? Or shall I keep this particular secret to myself?

~Ava

PS -- Any thoughts on how I could talk the grand vizier into giving me my own laptop? It would make posting so much easier.

6 comments:

Ms Scarlet said...

Keep the secret for the time being and order a laptop from Amazon and charge it to Mr Pasha.
Sx

Anonymous said...

That was him! The fellow that I gave my note to! I was at first nervous to approach him. But his eyes were kind.
Maybe you should tell the Pasha that you've developed an interest in accounting and need a computer to do spreadsheets on? You know adding up the prices of silk sheets and hookahs. Making sure that all is cost effective? That or perhaps you want to start scrapbooking? Can you imagine how big that book would be? What with all the wives and birthday parties, you would certainly need a computer for that project!

Ava said...

Thanks for the ideas, ladies. Unfortunately, Koosha has the credit card and is in charge of sheets and hookahs. Maybe I could say I don't trust him and want to double check? That seems terribly dangerous.

Feminine wiles. I have them. I'm fully loaded. Wish me luck; I'll tell you what happened.

Kate Lord Brown said...

Thank you for visiting Ava. If Gok ever hangs up his slingbacks it sounds like Koosha could step into his shoes. Trust no one and remember Machiavelli's dictum - beware those who present a semblance of virtue :)

MommyHeadache said...

Koosha sounds wonderful but I wouldn't yet divulge all my most personal secrets. Give him time to see if he can really be trusted.

Gorilla Bananas said...

He can't be trusted until he has a pair of breasts as attractive as yours. Until then, he'll be jealous of you.